Chief Scout of World Football

Chief Scout of World Football.

Here’s a scenario. You’ve just caught wind of an up and coming superstar. Tekked out his boots. Quick, strong. More power than Adriano’s shots on Pro Evo! You tell one of your “boys” all about how you think he’s "******* special."

#mymanJulian

He shrugs off your verbal scouting report quicker than Sam Allardyce can say “head, kick, squeeze”.

A couple of months pass and he’s linked with a top four club.

“Remember this lad? I told you about him last summer? I promise ya I said he’s unreal? Naa you do, the one from Schalke? Plays just off the striker. Small lad. You ******* joking me? You never ******* listen! Don’t piss me off.”

Yep, that’s right, they don’t remember. They don’t remember that you, the chief scout of world football, had the foresight to predict that this unknown rising starlet had what it takes to mix it with the big boys.

He plays against an English club in Europe and has an absolute worldie. Spraying passes for days, he makes Vincent Kompany look like a weird crosspollination of Titus Bramble and Dean Leacock. His performance hands GNev his second footballing orgasm live on Sky Sports (“Your Home Of Sport”).

"Ahhhhhhhhhooooooohhhhhhhhh!"

He bags a hat trick. Left foot. Right foot. Header.

As you sit there like a proud father watching his first-born son play Joseph in the school nativity, a smile from ear to ear, it suddenly dawns on you. The secret is out. He’s your player no more. Twitter has him now.

Your newsfeed is saturated with larger louts, accumulator addicts and Danny Dyer specials, giving it Ben Ten about your promising young boy. Facebook followers crack out the WD40, wipe down their Argos trampoline they kept from the 2006 epidemic and get ready to jump on the bandwagon.

You wave goodbye to any recognition heading your way as he secures a £28m move to Merseyside Red (Pro Evo was sick). He becomes a star, wins titles, maybe a major tournament with his country and leaves little old you nothing but memories of when he was just a promising talent.

I can’t be the only one this has happened to.

Maybe you spotted a player many years ago who is now having defenders on toast?

Who did you scout?! Comments and Tweets welcome.

Dale Moon, Chief Scout and Director of World Football.